Sex and Love - They Are Not the Same - Don't Get It Twisted

I just wanted to talk about something that has been bothering me for quite some time. Sex and Love. I have had innumerous conversations with both men and women and had the opportunity to gain insight on their views on the subject matter. For most women that I have communicated with, their views are a bit distorted. A combination of reality and the "fairy tale." There are some men that would just rather have it known in the beginning that before they have sex with a woman she completely understands that he is not offering her a lifetime commitment, he's just offering her a release. For some women she interprets the act entirely different.

Before we begin, let's just look at the definition of Sex and Love, although similar in definitions, they are not the same:


sex
n.


1. The property or quality by which organisms are classified as female or male on the basis of their reproductive organs and functions.
2. Either of the two divisions, designated female and male, of this classification.
Females or males considered as a group.
3. The condition or character of being female or male; the physiological, functional, and psychological differences that distinguish the female and the male.
4. The sexual urge or instinct as it manifests itself in behavior.
5. Sexual intercourse.
6. The genitals.

love
n.

1. A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.
2. A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.
3. Sexual passion.
4. Sexual intercourse.
5. A love affair.
6. An intense emotional attachment, as for a pet or treasured object.
7. A person who is the object of deep or intense affection or attraction; beloved. Often used as a term of endearment.
An expression of one's affection: Send him my love.
8. A strong predilection or enthusiasm: a love of language.
9. The object of such an enthusiasm: The outdoors is her greatest love.
Love Mythology. Eros or Cupid.
often Love Christianity. Charity.
Sports. A zero score in tennis.

Ok so now that we have established that Sex and Love generally have "a" same meaning, trust me it is not the same thing. Let's delve into it a bit further:

(I will use two people I have conversed with for analysis)

Woman:

Ok when we met dude was the finest thing ever to walk on earth. We met at this club, had a few drinks, good conversation and then he tookme back to his place. He told me that I was definitely someone he wanted to get to know and hang out with. I thought he meant everything he said.

It's now been three weeks since we have spoken, even though our time together was wonderful. That night was truly magical and I really believed he loved me because of the things he said to me while he was making love to me.

Man:

So I met this woman a few weeks ago at this club. She was beautiful man, and I just figured that "we could do the damn thing," because of the way she was diggin me. That shit was off the hook!

Now she is stalking me man! Everytime my damn phone rings it's her leaving me all of these long drawn out messages of how she loves me. I broke a rule giving her my number in the first place man. All I did was give it to her the way she wanted it and "damn!"

Interpretation:

People say things in the throws of passion simply because at that particular moment in time they perceive it to be the right thing to say. When the smoke clears, life goes on and reality sets in.

Just because he has had sex with you does not mean you should start planning your wedding. It is what it is. Pure, raw, unadulterated Sex. Does this mean that you can't have a fulfilling realtionship with the man you just slept with? Well it depends, if you have already had a relationship established (operative word here) then the sex just solidifies the relationship. Feelings intensify and Love (see how that works) comes into play.

Now if you just met dude and 20 minutes later you two are "boning" then the answer would be "No" Think about it....You two just met, now you are ready to settle down...why? From this point you must be honest with yourself and and ask yourself some questions about what it is you really want from relationships. Be for real, not only with yourself but with your partner. Don't start trying to manipulate a situation for your own benefit, don't use sex as the tool to acquire a man or woman for that matter. Just keep it real. Don't start looking for the big house with the white picket fence and expect 2.3 kids running around and don't think that just because you "broke her off something proper like," that she is supposed to rush home, cook your dinner and pick up your dirty clothes. It is what it is...

Sex is an act: in scientific terms it is called "copulation" which means "mating." Love is an emotion - Captivating, stimulating, undulating, resonating, vibrating. Ok so now I know you're probably wondering to yourself where do I get off discussing this anyway, and so I will tell you that it truly bothers me how just a simple act alone can cause so much confusion and heartbreak. If you have it established in the beginning that the act itself is just that, then the cause for alarm should not be there. If you just sleep with someone and interpret as something else, then there is an obvious problem. I could talk about this matter all day long. And it still probably wouldn't sink in.

A great deal of people are lonely, brokenhearted, seeking something greater than what they may have now in their lives. Women view sex differently than men men view sex differently than women. Women see the act itself as offering herself to the man eternally, men unless they are in love view the act as just that "sex."

Now I have been in situations where my attitude with sex is, "don't fall in love with me, let's just have sex," and it completely blows the man away....How could a woman have such an attitude towards sex. Well its quite simple actually, I don't use sex as a means to acquire, purposefully get pregnant to entrap someone, then complain because I am sitting somewhere bitter and lonely and trying to figure out how to feed all those mouths. I see it for what it is...an act.

But don't get me wrong, when I am in love, then it is no longer sex, it is something completely different. Now it is something "spiritual" (you find when you get older, sex is more spiritual than just being with someone) When I love I love deeply and intensely. Our souls mesh as our bodies kiss, we're not trying to acquire each other for the sake of calling someone our own, we just know. That is a different level altogether...

Basically this entire matter boils down to self-esteem. If you are secure within "self" then you don't need anyone to make you feel "complete." You won't have the need to "trap" another or misinterpet actions and words...you see things for what they truly are....