Wow! I cannot believe it has been a year since I last blogged. I always had things I wanted to write about, just never took the time to jot them down.
To sum up my year, in July my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer, on January 7th 2012 she lost her battle. As a result I decided I would quit smoking because I didn't want any of my family members to sit in hospice watching me take my last breath. That's not fair, especially if it was something that I could have prevented.
I will say that since I have quit smoking, I have been sicker than I have ever been in my life. I have developed respiratory issues and severe allergies. I am on a steroid treatment for the allergies and I have Ativan for my severe panic attacks and Ambien to help me sleep. Oh yeah....I have become a "head case" as a result of not smoking. I have taken more pills these past few months than I have in my entire life. I do not like it one bit. I just want my life back.
Maybe I should journal my trials. There are days I can sit up and feel like I want to tackle the world, and other days where the world is tackling me....The doctors at the hospital think that I am a hypochondriac, as I try to explain to them that there is really something wrong with me physically. So what do they do? They prescribe more pills! I don't want an addiction.
I have no desire to pick up my habit, in fact quitting was easy, I just didn't realize the detoxification was this terrible. I know my body is on the mend. It just seems like I was healthier when I smoked.
Que sera, sera
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